Bare-links; the naked truth
e-Diots guide to BERLIN, read on …….
1. ESSENTIAL GUIDE FOR LOSERS; don’t forget to forget to pack the following-
Passport, money (see section below), contact details & addresses (we will be distributing this at checkin), your STUDENT ID & EHIC (see Health section below) cards – the former is essential for getting discounts in all kinds of places including Transmediale, finally, last will and testimony….. optional but not for suicidal losers….
2. MEAT MARKET
We will meet up with you at the SOUTH TERMINAL at 3.40am ….that’s when the big hand is at the number 8 and the little hand is two thirds of the ways towards the number 4 after leaving the number 3 behind…. Don’t be a number 3 and make us leave you behind as well …. We won’t wait for losers…….
Go to CHECK IN and look for the EASYJET checkin desks; we will be there.
3. LUGGAGE just to remind you that EASYJET will only allow one piece up to 20 kilos to be checked–in and ONE additional piece of hand-luggage, that includes anything that you are carrying; it has ALL got to go in one small bag; they WILL check and WILL fine you.
4. MONEY: My advice is don’t take more than a few Euros in cash with you, take a bankcard if you can, or try:
http://www.postoffice.co.uk/travel/travel-money/travel-money-card
5. CLOTHING
According to the BBC http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/2950159 it’s going to be cold YES!!! Seeeeriously cold…minus 10 degrees centigrade (es wird sehr sehr kkkkkkalt ) that’s why we’re going……so……LAYERS of clothing because although you will be inside quite a lot and they like to be warm over there, when they go outside they go equipped……
So boys, don’t forget your longjohns- http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MENS-WOMEN-THERMAL-LONG-JOHNS-SIZES-M-L-XL-XXL-LONGJOHNS-MEN-MENS-LADIES-/180788436390?pt=UK_Men_s_Underwear&var=&hash=item6fc57ba22f#ht_500wt_1031
Codpieces are optional and not even optimal.
BUT have one top layer that is waterproof and a HAT; all East Europeans wear hats in winter…… and gloves … remember those … ask your mum if she’s still got that pair with the long bit of string that was attached to the left-hand glove, went right up one sleeve round your back and down to the right-hand glove……..they’ll come in handy…..
6. EQUIPMENT
All expensive kit should be put inside a scruffy old bag; not flaunted, including those pink iPHONES; there will be more information about insurance on the BLOG laters…..
I, and probably one other member of staff, will have a laptop which can be used for capturing from cameras etc. , but only if you bring your own hard-drive or USB stick.
Think about security in shared rooms.
BUT you should also have some cheap but extremely valuable low-tech equipment; pencil, sketchbook, perhaps some scissors and pritstick…. Cut’n’haste…
7. INFO
Do your homework on TRANSMEDIALE – http://www.transmediale.de/ and Berlin (pronounced; bareleeeeen by the way)
The deadline for booking into the worshops includes , sorry lad-eeze the deadline is tonight…. http://www.transmediale.de/content/transmediale-2012-workshops
Google translate is a wondrous thing BUT remember how much it will cost to be online abroad……
Instead why not make your own FLASH cards ?… come on you’re design students … or buy this if you’re too lazy www.amazon.co.uk/Totally-Naked-Flashcards-English-German-ebook/dp/B006U156H0/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327839922&sr=1-9 – trashy rubbish, yeah, but it got you thinking didn’t it?
We will have guide books and maps and will try to help you find that ESSENTIAL VYNIL record shop … if we can…but then again that’s what the interweb thingy is for… get it sorted before you go….
Meanwhile check this out: http://www.kaffeeburger.de/?page=programm
… that’s where I am Thursday – Cosmonautix (Russian Balalaika Speedfolk)
Eintritt 5 Euro – FOUR QUID!!!! It’s a steal….. http://www.myspace.com/cosmonautixberlin
…. then there’s always the WHITE TRASH CLUB http://www.berlin.de/orte/club/white_trash/
… .not to MENTION Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp http://www.holocaustresearchproject.org/othercamps/sachsenhausen.html
….Helmut Newton Foundation http://www.helmutnewton.com/
….the BAUHAUS archive http://www.bauhaus.de/
and that’s before we even start on TRANSMEDIALE…
8.HEALTH
What happens if I lose my EHIC card? – that is if you didn’t remember to get one in the first place.
If you ‘lose’ your card, the worst that can happen is that you, or we, have to call the EHIC Enquiries Line +44 191 212 7500 … just remember the definition of home; it’s where they have to let you in … that’s why they call it the home office….. they have to help….. even if they don’t like you …because you’re one of theirs……
..keep taking the tablets, because the hugs aren’t working…. essential medication, take it and if you have spare give it one of the members of staff as back-up… we got a really good price last time…
… but whatever you do don’t mention fluoride; we’re sick to the back teeth with it……..